I'm an ELF!
For those of you who don't know, I am leaving for China soon as an English Language Fellow, adorable nicknamed as "ELF." I'll be teaching undergraduate English majors at Huazhong University of Science and Technology in Wuhan, China from September until June, in addition to being involved in various secondary projects like presenting at teacher-training workshops around the country, and being an unofficial cultural ambassador.
Confusingly, I'm sort of attached to the state department but not an employee of it, kind of like how Peace Corps Volunteers seem to be both government employees and not-government employees at the same time. Once again, I've been air-dropped into a fancy conference on the east coast for a pre-departure orientation, although this time things are definitely fancier, the average age is skewed about 15-20 years older, and there are a disproportionate number of blazers. I've never felt entirely at ease in aggressively air-conditioned rooms filled with dark-colored blazers, but I survived.
Actually, besides the requisite number of bureaucratic-type sessions, the experience was a lot grayer and cozier than I expected. There are about 170 of us heading out to different countries around the world and my country, China, has the largest number of ELFs, at more than 20! The most impactful moments of the orientation, besides drinking enough free fluids (coffee! tea! coffee!) to fill a small dam, were those spent getting to know the other fellows who I will be working with in China. About 7 of them are renewing/returning fellows and have been instrumental in helping us imagine what our lives will be like once we arrive at our sites in late August. The gray part of the orientation, which you don't really expect from people from the state department who wear blazers, is that we need to be comfortable with starting our fellowship with the expectation of ambiguity, confusion, and chaos. Things won't be like we imagine or expect, which is surely the most-frequently forgotten universal truth of human life.
The cozy bit: This isn't a nail-biting, elbow-jostling start to a competitive year. As fellows, we are all there for each other- not against each other. We share resources, co-present workshops, hold each others' hands, give advice. We aren't there to reinvent any wheels but to exist in community. As a sensitive human who would have cried on the first day of medical school, this is welcome news. At no point in my life have I ever wanted to embark on an opportunity or job that required a competitive spirit and I'm thankful that this fellowship really centers fellowship over individual achievement.
There are definitely a lot of similarities between this orientation and my orientation from Peace Corps seven years ago. It seems like every other person I meet here has either done the Peace Corps or something very similar to it: teaching abroad, the Fulbright, etc. People are generally older and more specialized but most people are the idealistic traveler types. It's interesting being in a sea of people who share similar passions and life experiences. Although the ambiguity of our quickly-approaching lives abroad is similar between the two programs, this fellowship does feel a bit more solid and structured. I won't be creating my job from the ground up; I know that I'll have a regular (but light!) teaching load at a university, and that I'm encouraged and expected to develop secondary projects outside of it, whereas in the Peace Corps not even my primary project was a fully-formed thing. As ELFs, we are more specialized; I'm no longer a nebulous 23 year old humanities graduate but a TESOL teacher with training and experience---in theory, I have more to offer.
Throughout the last few days, I've been filled to the brim with information, policies, procedures, anecdotes, advice, and conversation. I've also been experiencing a fair amount of impostor syndrome, which I seem to experience regardless of the context. I was thinking of making a list of reasons why I'm NOT an impostor as way of combating it. Any other advice?
In other news, Cuong and I came early to check out D.C. We loved the food, museums, monuments, neighborhoods, and progressive vibe of the city. The first few days, we walked about 15 miles/day! We also got to see some of my old friends, who took great care of us. The last time I was in D.C., I was 13 years old and stayed up all night free-basing pixie sticks and painting my face with permanent marker...onwards and upwards!
Confusingly, I'm sort of attached to the state department but not an employee of it, kind of like how Peace Corps Volunteers seem to be both government employees and not-government employees at the same time. Once again, I've been air-dropped into a fancy conference on the east coast for a pre-departure orientation, although this time things are definitely fancier, the average age is skewed about 15-20 years older, and there are a disproportionate number of blazers. I've never felt entirely at ease in aggressively air-conditioned rooms filled with dark-colored blazers, but I survived.
Actually, besides the requisite number of bureaucratic-type sessions, the experience was a lot grayer and cozier than I expected. There are about 170 of us heading out to different countries around the world and my country, China, has the largest number of ELFs, at more than 20! The most impactful moments of the orientation, besides drinking enough free fluids (coffee! tea! coffee!) to fill a small dam, were those spent getting to know the other fellows who I will be working with in China. About 7 of them are renewing/returning fellows and have been instrumental in helping us imagine what our lives will be like once we arrive at our sites in late August. The gray part of the orientation, which you don't really expect from people from the state department who wear blazers, is that we need to be comfortable with starting our fellowship with the expectation of ambiguity, confusion, and chaos. Things won't be like we imagine or expect, which is surely the most-frequently forgotten universal truth of human life.
The cozy bit: This isn't a nail-biting, elbow-jostling start to a competitive year. As fellows, we are all there for each other- not against each other. We share resources, co-present workshops, hold each others' hands, give advice. We aren't there to reinvent any wheels but to exist in community. As a sensitive human who would have cried on the first day of medical school, this is welcome news. At no point in my life have I ever wanted to embark on an opportunity or job that required a competitive spirit and I'm thankful that this fellowship really centers fellowship over individual achievement.
There are definitely a lot of similarities between this orientation and my orientation from Peace Corps seven years ago. It seems like every other person I meet here has either done the Peace Corps or something very similar to it: teaching abroad, the Fulbright, etc. People are generally older and more specialized but most people are the idealistic traveler types. It's interesting being in a sea of people who share similar passions and life experiences. Although the ambiguity of our quickly-approaching lives abroad is similar between the two programs, this fellowship does feel a bit more solid and structured. I won't be creating my job from the ground up; I know that I'll have a regular (but light!) teaching load at a university, and that I'm encouraged and expected to develop secondary projects outside of it, whereas in the Peace Corps not even my primary project was a fully-formed thing. As ELFs, we are more specialized; I'm no longer a nebulous 23 year old humanities graduate but a TESOL teacher with training and experience---in theory, I have more to offer.
Throughout the last few days, I've been filled to the brim with information, policies, procedures, anecdotes, advice, and conversation. I've also been experiencing a fair amount of impostor syndrome, which I seem to experience regardless of the context. I was thinking of making a list of reasons why I'm NOT an impostor as way of combating it. Any other advice?
In other news, Cuong and I came early to check out D.C. We loved the food, museums, monuments, neighborhoods, and progressive vibe of the city. The first few days, we walked about 15 miles/day! We also got to see some of my old friends, who took great care of us. The last time I was in D.C., I was 13 years old and stayed up all night free-basing pixie sticks and painting my face with permanent marker...onwards and upwards!
Huzzah! So glad you will be blogging throughout your latest journey! I love experiencing things through your eyes and learning along with you :)
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