Generally lost and disheveled

I want to explore the unique pain of initiation, or of becoming oneself and whole, because I sometimes get it confused with other types of pain that we are simply inured to as a result of living in a society where we are routinely abandoned and dehumanized . We don't talk enough about the starkly different types of fear, how one type can lead us further underground while another can drive us to claw our way to the surface. We don't talk about how one definition of safety means silence while another means visibility. We need different words.  I think about the unique pain of limbs awakening, the indescribable pins-and-needle sensation that one must endure in order to be able to stand up and walk away (or toward). I think about the pain inherent in any moment when we feel clearly that something isn't right or aligned, when we know we will have to end or change something. I think about the fatigue and uncertainty of walking upstream with each step; I think about the sudden t