Saturday, September 6, 2014

This is SPARTA!!

I hate the movie 300, truly and deeply, but I found that the title of my blog (a quote from the movie) was the closest I could get to describing my first week of school.

I have threatened, cajoled, lured, pleaded, and engaged in battles of steely silence and intense glaring in order to prevail over my class of fourth graders.  I have literally phoned my principal using my cellphone in the middle of class when things had dissolved into pure anarchy.  When 20 little people were doing all sorts of absurd and ridiculous things like farting on each other, licking each others' arms, doing gymnastics, trying to pull off each others' pants, yelling at the top of their lungs, and tearing down classroom decorations.

I have met my match, world.  I have also lost my voice.  The first week of school was less like teaching and more like a Japanese game show where things start out nice and civilized and descend quickly into madness, tears, and lava pits.  Chaos.  But, it's okay.  I have found strategies.  I have taken away a "games" period at the end of the day and substituted it with dictation whenever they can't handle it.  I am perfecting my teacher glare.

Things will get better.