Monday, July 1, 2013

Infinite


We talk of cultures around the world, enviously, as if we have lost ours somewhere far in the past.  Not remembering, that to live is to have a culture.  We have our personal cultures and our family cultures and our national cultures.  I’m working on my own now.  I’m an intricate archeological dig of my past, my ancestors, my interests, my friends,  my peculiarities, my love, my hope, my present.  Every day I work to uncover more of myself until someday I will unfold completely into a heavenly shape with a divine ratio of surface area to volume.  Love in, love out. Love in, love out.   

I want to wrap myself, like a fat vine, around the experiences and living things around me.  I want to sit on a shady bench and observe what goes by for hours.  I’m hungry for friendship these days.  Like a satisfying growl in my stomach, I feel content with my friends.  I long for them, but I enjoy them when they are around, too.  I’m crazy about what they do and how they smile.  I’m here to exchange love with others and act like a complete doofus along the way.  I’m also here to be introspective, silent, watchful, at peace.  I’m here to make decisions that are neither good nor bad but strange and of my making, and see how the universe reacts.  I’m here to admire, dance, smile, and seek.  I’m here to dissolve boundaries and categories and expectations and color outside of the lines.  I have never understood the importance of adhering to these things.  Everyone gets around in their own way and sees different scenery along the way.  I want to hear about the stories that world has, the stories a single human holds within them, the sound of summer at night.  We have such rich cultures within us. 

I once formed a small but essential part of a dinosaur’s tail.  My atoms were there, and I facilitated the slow swinging, the sacred sense of balance that a tail provides.  A long-neck dinosaur, with its thick grace and large eyes.  I was there.  Everyone else was, too.  We were different but still us.  We’ve passed through so many forms of ourselves, so many different rearrangements of our molecules.  We have been here since there was a here.  We’ve been humble plants, elegant animals, sad humans.  We’ve been dirt and air-bound and eggplant.  We have such memories that it’s a blessing we can’t access all of them.  We are part of each other and inseparable from each other.  What a relief to remember on days of stagnant selfish  ipad isolation.  We are each other and we are ourselves.  I don’t have a good sense of balance now---I stumble clumsily throughout my life---but it’s a relief to realize that I once provided an essential element of balance in a single dinosaur’s life as it lumbered its large feet over dusty ground. 

 

You are infinite. 

Also, HAPPY PRIDE WEEKEND!

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