Generally lost and disheveled

 I have struggled to update this blog in 2024, as my own system has struggled to keep up with its constant updates and reboots, some dramatic and some subtle.  Through it all, I am left with the echoing question of, "Under whose authority?" There is so often a looming, invisible authority that I am trying to please even when I think I'm not. I'll meditate until my knees ache...for who? For what purpose? I'll work hard... for who? For what purpose? I'll try to make my body look a certain way...for who? For what purpose? I'll be nice...for who? For what purpose?  What is my own unique moral compass? How can I stay rooted, always, in my own authority? Who am I when no one is looking or keeping score? What can I refuse? For what or for who will I throw my arms wide open? I'm excited to keep discovering this for myself.  I am so grateful to have discovered and embraced " Queer Time" , in addition to finding a community of people of all ages who ha...